Sadhguru Speech on:How Do You Tell A Girl You Love Her?

Love does all these things to you. You are having a great love affair, just enjoy it. You may think I am a hero but well the girl, she has her opinions. Your nose can be like this, it doesn’t matter. A joyful face is always a beautiful face.   Moderator (Abhijeet): Okay, Sadhguru Ji, this is very common in my college and it is true about me and also my friends. So I am in love with a girl and... Sadhguru: Ah! (Laughter) Moderator (Abhijeet): And what happens is that I don’t have the courage to talk to her and this is like self-doubt that I have. I think that I don’t deserve her. So what to do in this regard? (Laughs/Laughter) Sadhguru: You are in love with a girl or you’ve fallen in love with a girl? Moderator (Abhijeet): Actually, I’ve fallen in love. Sadhguru: Ok. This happened, before he became a drunk, he was at the Shillong University, Shankaran Pillai(Laughter). And he was doing his Ph.D. So one day, he went to his mentor professor and said, “Sir, I need your help on something very important.” So the professor said, “Yes, that’s why I am here, please tell me.” 

Then he named the college beauty and he said, “Sir, I am completely in love with her, I need your help on this.” “What do you mean, you need my help? I am not here to help you with those kinds of matters, I am here for academic purposes.” He said, “No sir, I am really fifty percent successful. You just need to help me with the other fifty percent.”He asked, “What is fifty percent success anyway?” He said, “I am completely in love with her and she doesn't know, the other fifty percent you must help me.” So, just enjoy the love affair because now it's totally in your control. If you also bring her into the picture, now she will take charge of it (Laughter and Applauds). And, I am not saying you should not fall in love with somebody, but don’t be in a rush to live. At this stage in your life, see how to build yourself up into a worthwhile life, then things will come to you in a certain way. If you rush into life too early, then, you know, other aspects of growth will get stunted. Because you got emotionally entangled, now immediately the girl says, “I am going to come with you tomorrow morning.” 

Then immediately, you have to find some job, you have not completed your engineering, you will find one auto-rickshaw to drive. Arey, all these things will happen. Love does all these things to you. So you are having a great love affair, just enjoy it, don’t tell her (Laughter and Applauds). Moderator (Ria): Sadhguru, I think he also kind of wanted to know about self-doubt that he has, although the context was that, that he's primarily asking about self-doubt. Sadhguru: See this is not self-doubt, the doubt is about her. How she will respond, that is the doubt. Somewhere when it comes to yourself, the question of whether I am good enough for something, not good enough for something, you should not worry about that. You must just see every day how you can be a better human being than the way you are right now. And then the world, the way it responds, tells you whether you are good enough or not. It’s not for you to think. See this is why there’s an examination at the end of the year. Why? Because you may think you are a great engineer, but the examination results tell you poo. 

So this also is like that, you may think I am a hero but well the girl, she has her opinions. So instead of that, see how to make yourself better, in how many ways, not just the way you look. Because your looks will be ignored after some time. You have to make yourself better. How to make yourself better? At least you are trying to make yourself into a good engineer, that’s a good idea. Another thing is well, just see better means what? What is it one thing that always draws people? What is it that one thing that makes a person look wonderful is, it is not the shape of your nose or the point of your chin or your hairstyle or something, a joyful face is always a beautiful face, isn't it so? Your nose can be like this, it doesn’t matter. A joyful face is always a beautiful face. Do that one thing, maybe she will fall in love with you (Laughter). Just rise and shine. If you rise and shine, everybody will look in that direction, isn't it? Learn to sing, hmm. Sing a song. We can train you if you want. Just one song that may make her fall in love.